As Bad as His Bite
by Schreibertooth
Summary: Birthday McKirk for one of my biffles. Kirk discovers some things about McCoy... including that he can play... Beer Pong? Rated M for both men's dirty mouths and dirtier minds. McKirk/Jones SLASH


"I didn't know you could play beer pong."

McCoy sighed. He had put up with Jim's animated, drunken chatter for the duration of the trek back to the building, and had just about enough of it. Worse than the incessant, babbling banter was the fact that since his friend seemed to be utterly incapable of walking without running into something, falling down, or steering the both of them (McCoy had –tried- to support him, like one does with a friend that is just way too drunk, but with disastrous results) into a trash can, wall, or parked vehicle, he had just given up and carried him. Rather than ceasing to speak, the young man had just continued, hardly missing a beat, to literally talk his friend's ear off.

McCoy had no physical problem carrying his young friend. He was considerably light for a man that was nearly as tall as the Doctor himself, so it wasn't hard. No, what he had a problem with was the fact that, tonight, Jim would just not. Stop. Talking. Mostly prickly and irate by nature, McCoy was only more irritated by this. He wondered briefly what would happen if he just tossed the damned kid into a dumpster and went back to their room alone, because at this rate, Jim wasn't going to let him sleep.

"I Don't. I only played with you so you'd stop asking me to." He huffed, hitching Jim higher onto his back as he started to slip.

"You're really good at it, you know, Bones." Jim said happily, tightening his arms around the man's neck a little, in what McCoy supposed might have been the kid attempting to hug him. He scoffed.

"Well, you suck." He muttered darkly, trotting along in a determined manner. God help him, he was going to get back to that dorm room as fast as his legs- and the drunken boy he was transporting upon his back- would allow him. It was really all he could do to be patient; Jim was naturally talkative. This, though, this was infuriating. Maddening. Violently infuriatingly maddening.

"D'you even stop to breathe?" he demanded, jostling the youth a little to interrupt him as he started on one of his half-incoherent rambles again.

"Of course I do, Bones. That's a stupid question. You're a doctor; you should know people need to breathe to live. So I'd have to stop to breathe. Why did you even ask?"

"I really regret doing it." McCoy grunted ruefully. Oh, thank god, there was their complex. All he had to do now was get inside.

"Hey." Jim started up again, propping his head against McCoy's shoulder.

"Good GOD." The man groaned, walking faster.

"Did you see that redhead, Bones?"

"There were like thirty redheads, Jim. Double that, if you're asking me if I was noticing men." He replied flatly.

"The one with the really short hair, it was darker red. She was sitting in the corner most of the time with a smaller group of people. She was totally checking you out."

"I really don't care." McCoy gruffed, shouldering the door open. This was almost over, he kept telling himself. An elevator ride to the third floor, a short walk down the hall, and that was it. He could kill Jim quietly and get a good night's sleep. He'd smother him with a pillow, or inject him with aprobarbital. That, of course, would mean that he would have to have said barbiturate in his possession, which he did not, as aprobarbitalwas most commonly used for insomnia in the twentieth century, and was long outdated. This conclusion reached, he vowed instead to drown him in the toilet.

He was snapped out of his inner ponderings as he entered the elevator and was greeted by…silence? Jim had really actually shut up. McCoy cautioned a sidelong glance at Jim, who still had his chin propped against the older man's shoulder. He had a concentrated frown on his face.

"Okay, what's the matter?" he sighed, rolling his eyes. Jim turned to regard him.

"Nothing." He claimed innocently, giving his friend a valiant smile, as if to prove that no, nothing was actually wrong. McCoy regarded him with suspicion.

"I don't believe you…" he muttered, turning his head to look down the hall as he stepped out of the elevator. It was just what he needed to have been seen by someone he knew, carrying his drunken best friend through the building, half drunk himself.

A sharp, rather wet sensation on the side of his neck caused him to stumble. His knees buckled, and he grunted as he hit the wall, trying not to drop Jim. Why he didn't, he never could think of a good reason. It did take him a moment or two to register that the little bastard was _biting_ him.

"The hell was that for?" he hissed, jabbing his elbow into Jim's chest.

"Ow! _Hey_!" The young man protested, letting go of the spot on McCoy's neck that he had latched to.

"Why the hell did you bite me?" he demanded again, struggling to get to his feet without dropping his roommate.

"…Because it's kinky?" Jim answered, all too cheerfully.

"I don't find that funny. Don't do it again." McCoy sniffed, darting down the hall as fast as he was able. He definitely didn't want anyone seeing that. He stumbled again and fell against the door to the room they shared when the young man latched onto his neck again.

"I told you not to do that!" he snapped, trying to shake him off as he fumbled for the card-key.

"You said not to bite you." Jim responded muffledly against the other man's neck. McCoy gritted his teeth and shuddered involuntarily.

"You're _still_ biting me." He hissed, finally pulling out the card-key. He swiped it hastily and stumbled into the room, kicking the door shut. With a grunt, he threw the younger man off his back, sending him sprawling across the bed. With reflexes almost feline, he pounced upon the younger man, straddling his waist and grabbing his wrists to pin him.

"What do I have to do to make you behave?" He demanded, his voice a little louder than it had been in the hall now that there was less chance of attracting attention. Jim just gave him an idiotic grin and laughed at him. McCoy scowled, the look on his face the epitome of being unamused.

"You're even uptight when you're drunk." The young cadet crowed, looking absolutely gleeful. McCoy looked positively insulted.

"I am not uptight."

"Yes you are!" Jim Kirk snorted, struggling a little to see if he could get away. McCoy's grip held firm, and Jim's attention was pulled in another direction. He almost sounded serious when he said

"You should really loosen up."

McCoy had opened his mouth to answer, but was caught completely off guard as Jim pressed himself up against him, wriggling slightly in a suggestive manner. The smirk on his face was a clear indication of his intentions, and McCoy was having none of it.

"Cut it out!" he snapped, irritated, tightening his grip on him. Jim ignored him and continued to rub up against him as best his awkward position allowed him to.

"You don't give me much choice, Bones; I'm kind of stuck here." He would have sounded completely serious, were it not for the husky undertone to his voice, or the cocky smirk painted across his features. The Doctor shifted above him, trying to get away from him without letting him up. The bite mark on his neck still stung, and the fact that the younger cadet was so unashamedly hitting on him as he rubbed against him, mixed with the fact that he was very near drunk had the receptors in his brain trying to coax his body into being aroused.

"Stop it. I mean it." He warned, glaring threateningly at his friend. Jim responded by giving him a wide-eyed 'so what?' look.

"What happens if I don't?" He sounded too gleeful to be genuinely curious. He was still trying to stimulate the man, sliding his hips up against him. There was a drawn out pause. Well, he really actually hadn't thought it out that far ahead.

In lieu of an answer, McCoy simply released the youth, returning control of his hands to him, and grabbed him by the collar, yanking him up violently to ram their mouths together. Too drunk and horny to even be surprised, Jim simply took the other man's face in his hands in a desperate attempt to pull him closer, jumping at the opportunity. The two fell back against the bed, and Jim, having had kicked his shoes off at some point, raised a leg to wrap it around McCoy's waist, forcing him closer. Hips canted forward as McCoy, using his newly freed hands, steadied himself against the bed, grinding his growing arousal against Jim's perfect ass.

"You, sir…" he husked gruffly, tugging the younger man's bottom lip in his teeth,

"Are in big trouble."

Jim snorted derisively beneath him, the sound muffled into his mouth almost to the point that it was lost; but Bones could feel that smirk pressed against his lips.

"I am?" he practically purred, wriggling against the swaying of the Doctor's hips into him.

"Ayuh." He drawled thickly, smiling privately to himself as the low burr of his voice caused the Cadet beneath him to moan and shift against him. It didn't matter what Kirk said to him, didn't matter how clever, true, or stinging his smart-ass remarks were, all Leonard had to do was speak in that slow, deliberate drawl of his, and James Kirk would shut right up. The sound of his low Georgia baritone sent shocks up the young man's spine, leaving him numb with desire. Leonard rammed his hips solidly against Jim, the friction caused there pooling in the younger man's abdomen, making his imprisoned cock jump eagerly.

"You do know I bite back, don't you, Jim?" He husked lowly against Jim's ear, flicking his tongue teasingly over the shell. Kirks groaned beneath him, pressing his backside into the man's groin. That was true, and he still had the bruises to prove it. Jim had noticed that his friend had an affinity for biting, for marking him where no one else could see, but hadn't really thought of what would happen if he'd tried to do the same until merely a half an hour earlier. Ironically, he was brought from his revelation by a sharp, stinging bite to his neck. The sensation was rewarded with a lustfully painful yelp as Jim gripped Leonard's shoulders tighter, tilting his head back to proffer the rest of his neck to the man to mark as he pleased. Still gyrating hard into Jim's ass, he covered the swelling beginnings of that bruise with his mouth and sucked at it.

"Oh, Bones…" Jim hissed, writhing underneath him. He pressed his hands to his shoulders and shoved at him. Leonard let go of his neck and raised his head to stare at him, and he was overcome with a drunken want for the man all over again. He stared at the Doctor, a rather stupid look on his face. The man was a hot mess; his usually neat chestnut hair hung, disheveled, in his face, shadowing his deep hazel eyes, but not so much that he couldn't see that they were staring intently back at him. The man's lush lips were parted halfway, wet and glistening. Overwhelmed with a sudden bestial desire, Jim grabbed him by the collar and rammed their mouths together, tearing savagely at Bone's lower lip with his teeth. A muffled moan was issued into his mouth as a hand tightened roughly in his golden-brown hair. A tongue probed against his lips and he parted them, sucking fiercely at that tongue as it entwined with his, battling for dominance. Jim pulled away, panting.

"Fuck me, Bones." He demanded breathlessly, glaring fiercely into those hazel eyes.

A short pause, then a chuckle.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, darlin'?" The man had his mouth pressed to Jim's ear, and his voice escaped his throat in a low, gravelly husk.

"Well…" he purred, tongue flicking over the shell of his ear. Jim suppressed a groan as the man's teeth worried his earlobe harshly.

"We'll just see…"

His ambiguous answer was not entirely believable, at least in Jim's mind, as the other man had already slipped his hands beneath his thin white tee and was dragging his palms up his body, taking the offending fabric with it. He sat up to the best of his ability, all too eager to help with the removal of his clothes, as he always was. When he reached forward to snake his mischievous hands up the back of Leonard's shirt, the other man shook his head, shoving him back down by the shoulders.

"You stay there." He ordered. Keeping him pinned, he lowered himself, biting harshly at the thin flesh of his collarbone. Jim groaned and tried to arch into him as he bit lower; harsher. Each bite stung for a moment, then tingled pleasantly, sending tendrils of heat coiling through his nerves.

"Fuck, Bones!" He yelped, hips bucking up hard as Leonard closed his mouth around one of Jim's pert nipples, teeth nipping fiercely at the pebbled flesh. The hum of the man's chuckle, the huff of hot air as he exhaled, the hot, wet heat of his mouth against his nipple as he alternated between biting and suckling at it all threatened to drive Kirk completely insane.

_Fuck._

He didn't know where Bones got the idea that this was going to make him behave… All it made him want to do was cause mischief more often. If this was what he got from it, hell, he'd devote his _life _to pissing off his Southern lover. A sudden realization hit him as his hand snaked up to coil in thick chestnut hair. McCoy had moved to the middle of his chest and was sucking strongly, humming in the back of his throat to the feel of that hand in his hair.

"You're doing this on purpose." He slurred, trying to wriggle up against the doctor again. His pants were uncomfortably tight on him, and the feeling of Bones' own hardened cock grazing against his backside wasn't helping. At all.

"Mmmh?" McCoy muttered in vague inquiry. He was busy licking a trail down Jim's chest and abs, rubbing the rough pad of his thumb over the sensitive peak of Jim's left nipple.

"You're doing this on purpose." He repeated unsteadily. The doctor's teasing mouth was already working below his navel, sucking and biting just above his hips.

"I think you were…" he paused here, propping himself up on one elbow to watch Bones in a dazed fascination, hand still embedded in his hair. The doctor was now perched between Jim's legs, that god damn smug grin of his occupied with pulling his fly down. Those wicked eyes- mostly green with soft, subtle flecks of brown flickered up to meet his. He paused in his actions to quirk a brow at Jim.

"What were you sayin', darlin'?" he growled lowly, shifting as he tugged Kirk's pants off. Jim regained some of his natural cockiness, and continued.

"I think you were looking for an excuse for this." His voice was thick with alcohol and want, but behind it, there were undertones of victorious contempt. McCoy gave him a nonplussed look and pursed his lips, eyes half lidded.

"Maybe so, darlin'." He conceded in a low, thick husk, ghosting his fingertips over the insides of Kirk's thighs, making the cadet quiver.

"Maybe so…. But what are you gonna do about it?"

That sounded like a challenge, and James Kirk did not turn down a challenge.

"I- unh, _fuck_!" Before he could answer, McCoy had tugged his boxers down and freed his cock, sliding his fingers around it. He gripped him firmly in one hand and began to stroke him.

_With those blessedly skilled doctor's hands…_

Jim writhed and groaned, bucking his hips shamelessly into that warm hand. Bones worked slowly, methodically, almost maddeningly so, but he _knew_ what he was doing. He knew all too well. Being a doctor, he knew all the right places to touch, to caress, how hard to squeeze and where.

"Th- that's not _fair_!" Jim keened, fisting the sheets tightly in one hand, gripping the back of Bones' head in the other.

"No, I don't suppose it is." His lover agreed. He bit his lip, watching the man beneath him groan and squirm and protest, however half-hearted the protests were. It took a lot of self-control on his part not to just pound the kid into the mattress right then and there, but he was a patient man. Even after four weeks of this, he wasn't _quite_ ready to let Jim know just how wild watching him fall apart under the Doctor's touch made him. No, he'd enjoy that too much, just like Bones enjoyed making him beg for it. He was vaguely aware of his own aching hard-on, wanting nothing more than to just sink himself hilt-deep into Jim and then fuck him into oblivion, but he could wait just a while longer. It was whether or not Jim could that he was worried about.

"'s what you get for misbehavin' though, boy." He chuckled, running a rough palm down the inside of Kirk's thigh. He let out another keening noise below McCoy, spreading his legs at the touch. Having gotten the reaction he wanted, Bones lowered, letting the hand that had been so expertly jacking the young man off slide up the other thigh. There was an intake of breath that emerged as a sharp hiss, and a low, guttural groan as an intense, wet heat enveloped his cock, followed by strong, firm suction.

"Fuck, Bones…!" Jim practically mewed, abandoning gripping the sheets to tighten both hands in the doctor's hair as he dragged upwards, still sucking. Letting out a soft hum in reply, McCoy swiped his tongue over the underbelly of his cock then let him slip out fully, swirling his tongue firmly about the head. He dipped the tip of his tongue swiftly into the slit there, dragging it over the head again to collect the droplets of precum that had formed there. He eagerly swallowed the heady, slightly bitter taste, taking Jim back into his mouth again. A shudder rippled through the body beneath him as he pulled him deeper, humming strongly. The vibrations against his cock coaxed more precum to weep from the tip. Despite himself, McCoy groaned as that slick bitterness hit the back of his tongue. He swallowed, throat constricting around Jim's manhood.

"Fuck, Len, _please_!" Kirk's hips bucked involuntarily, his cry coming out in a needy, breathless pant. Once again, Bones let him slip from his mouth, chuckling lowly.

"Okay, darlin'."

That was all Jim needed. Almost too hastily, he turned to the nightstand and yanked open the drawer, fumbling for that small bottle he kept in it. That retrieved, he turned his attentions back to McCoy, who had stripped off his shirt and was now working on removing his pants.

"Off. Off now." Jim grunted, practically leaping forward to fumble with the button of the man's jeans. McCoy caught him, brow quirked, but let him tug his pants down. He bit down onto Jim's shoulder; not bothering to point out that letting him remove his own pants would get them off faster. Jim groaned, arching up against the doctor, rubbing against his bare, searing flesh.

"Down." McCoy ordered gruffly, and for once, Jim obeyed him. He lay back, watching Bones with intense, lustful eyes that were the most electrically charged blue he had ever seen. McCoy stared directly into those eyes, every bit of want, every bit of need, lust and desire he felt mirrored in that shocking blue as he uncapped the small bottle Jim had procured, slicking his fingertips with the smooth liquid it contained. He re-capped it and leaned in closer, his breath hot against Kirk's neck as he pressed his index finger into his heat, teasing his tight entrance with the rough pad of his finger.

"Nngh, fuck, Len!" Jim moaned, gripping one of Bones' broad shoulders in one hand, fisting his hair in the other. He bucked his hips up hard, yanking the man down hard against him. He tore at McCoy's bottom lip frantically with his teeth, ramming his tongue into his mouth as his cock jumped at the touch. McCoy chuckled into his mouth, pressing that finger into him. A muffled whine escaped Jim's mouth as Bones began to move that finger in and out of him, sucking harshly at his tongue. He rocked his hips into that motion, each swift stroke into him sending shocks of electricity down his spine and straight to his cock. That almost unbearable friction increased, seemingly tenfold, as the Doctor added his second finger, then his third, pushing as deep into him as he could, curling against his prostate, then pulling out and ramming back in again.

Jim arched his back and cried out at the loss of those fingers as Bones pulled out, pulling him closer by the hips. Breathing shakily, he watched, entranced, as McCoy uncapped the small bottle for the second time, once more spilling a portion of its contents into his hand. A subtle shudder ripped through his body as he took himself in hand, slowly coating his aching cock with the slick substance.

"Fuck, you are so hot…" Jim, whined, pulling Bones down over him as he lifted Jim's hips in his hands, sliding the head of his cock teasingly up against the younger man's entrance. Breath hitched momentarily in that moment before he pushed in, just hovering above Jim, staring onto those electric blue eyes, so full of fierce, wanton desire. The silence was shattered as Bones finally began to push into him, canting his hips forward eagerly. Jim let out a loud, keening moan, thrusting his chest forward, ramming his hips down against McCoy.

"Hush, darlin'." McCoy growled, rolling his hips up against the younger man.

"F-fuck… harder. Now, harder!"

Bones was happy to comply, lifting Jim into his arms as he thrust his hips up against him, hissing at the tight friction.

"Oh, _God_…"

"Leonard works… just fine, baby…" McCoy replied labouredly, hands roaming Jim's body in fevered passion.

"Fuck you…" Jim ground out, digging his nails into McCoy's shoulder blades. A brash chuckle from the other, and another lout moan ripped from Jim as McCoy's thrusts increased in both speed an intensity. He arched his hips desperately against doctor, wanting him deeper. Sensing his need, Bones rolled his hips deeper into him, letting him fall back against the bed Taking his hips in his hands, he lifted them, angling downwards.

"Yes, Bones! Fuck yes- yes! God, yes, like that…" Those lush lips parted to let out desperate, needy moans, and McCoy was suddenly overcome with the sudden desire to devour them.

"Cum for me, darlin'…" he growled against Jim's ear, dipping his tongue into it. Halfway through another keening moan, Jim was silenced by the harsh press of Bones' lips against his. He raked a hand through brunette hair, gripping it tightly to keep those lips pressed against his as that thick cock rammed repeatedly up against his prostate. He writhed against McCoy as a warm hand snaked around his cock, wrapping his legs around the man's hips, trying to draw him deeper into him.

"Fuck…" the cry was lost against Jim's lips as Bones rammed into him, hard. He held there, poised above him with his lips parted slightly, rocking his hips slowly against him.

"Nnnhgg, Don't-!" Jim whined, grinding down against him, squirming desperately.

"Fuck, Don't… Almost there, Len, Don't… Don't _stop_!"

"Don't want me to stop…?" His voice was strained through that teasing lilt. It was taking a lot of effort not to just sink into him and finish it, already.

"Say my name, baby. Scream for me…"

"You're an- Oh, _FUCK_, Len!" Jim cried, jerking forward as McCoy suddenly rammed his hips into him, hard. He hadn't even been aware of the man pulling out of him, but there; he had pulled out again and was thrusting back in.

"_Bones_!" Jim all but sobbed, digging his nails into Len's shoulders as the man bit down hard on his neck, rolling his hips quickly up into him. A loud ringing sound pervaded his hearing and he came, hard, his seed striping up his abdomen and over the hand that stroked him, wringing every last drop from him. He tightened his legs around Bones, constricting himself against his cock. With a low, husky groan, McCoy thrust into him just twice more before that intolerably perfect tightness threw him over the edge and he shook with orgasm.

"God, Jim-!" followed by a string of shakily uttered curses as he rode out his climax. He faltered forward, the arm holding him up trembling and collapsing beneath him. Jim caught him, falling back with him.

The ring in his ears died down, disappearing within a considerably short time. Both were still quivering and breathing erratically. Jim let his fingers thread through McCoy's hair, rather pleased at the approving rumble that the other gave in reply. Smugly, he made it a note to remember that he could make his doctor purr…

"Bones, I don't quite think positive reinforcement is going to make me behave…" Jim said ponderingly, shivering lightly as McCoy ghosted his fingertips up his arm.

"…Or get me to listen."

"It's just going to get you into bed more often."

"Well, yeah."

"Mhm."

"…What is that supposed to mean?" Jim asked suspiciously. Bones propped himself up, staring down at Jim with a pensive look on his face.

"You know, you're not always gonna be the one to initiate things." He quirked his brow and frowned in that skeptical way that always either meant disbelief or annoyance. Kirk's eyes went wide at the thought.

"I didn't know you were programmed to do that." He said incredulously.

"Shut up." Bones deadpanned, picking up on the slight undertones of sarcasm. Kirk was silent for a moment as he pondered this new revelation. It opened up new possibilities; usually he was the one to start their little wrestling matches…

"Hey, does this mean we can start talking about that threesome again?" he asked. McCoy rolled his eyes and groaned.

"No." he growled agitatedly.

"But-"  
>"SHUT UP."<p>

The rest of Jim's sentence was muffled as McCoy thrust a pillow into his face.


End file.
